When was the last time I walked inside a church very eager to hear the gospel of the day and then departed such holy place with every part of the mass vividly resonating inside my mind from the opening hymn toward the responses and ultimately to the final amen?

In the days when people had to adjust their biologiocal clock as world time ticked in DST mode, I always found myself very much excited waking up an hour earlier than the usual time for I got a slot to serve again in a local mass celebrated daily in our town. That was highschool. And that was the time when I had to go through a series of trainings before becoming a Knight of the Altar, which thereafter redefined my life as a catholic: so close to God I could feel Him everytime I did altar services and so fulfilling I could internalize what my ears passed on to my brain to absorb. Definitely I memorized the variegated parts of the mass.

But things changed as I migrated to university living though I retained in my heart the desire to serve through the fraternal brotherhood KC -- a project that did not got off. I sensed no obligation to say prayers anymore and my church attendance continued to suffer. However, for a brief period of six months while on course through my board review, the power of prayers revived its importance to me again. I prayed when I needed something. It had become a part of my living that mated carnal desires with divine assistance as implored.

I still have not reeled from this spiritual dilemma. I am a bad believer and I do no good to beef up my faith. To let everyone know, nevertheless, that I collect holy rosaries, is to draw up a proposition descriptive as antithesis to my current display of faith. Will I ever go to church regularly again?

Training the lenses of my digital camera as I zoom past few visual obstacles, from the glass-doored 2nd floor living room, I acquired the most commanding view of Sta. Clara de Montefalco's church dome that stands erect on it is a crucifix facing north. It is so near yet is so far. But hey, yes, I will go to mass again. I prefer english masses, though.